that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's never too late to be topless.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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