I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
