I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
