this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
