I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
