i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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