now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize