You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize