I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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