Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
