i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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