Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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