he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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