a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she pinky promised me she was 18
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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