MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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