you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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