none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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