i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
