You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
