I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
