i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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