Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
