Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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