Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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