guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
