Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
