I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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