Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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