so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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