What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
