i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
