This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize