i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
