I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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