Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
