mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
