Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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