I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize