hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
