I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
