i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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