Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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