you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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