she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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