Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
