Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
