it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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