So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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