it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My ass is underappreciated
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
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