my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
