Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize