Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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