So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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