this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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