my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize