when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize