I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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