i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize